Sorry for the language. But it’ll come up again and again in this article, and that’s because it needs to convey how harsh this idea is: giving a f*ck is bad for us.
Why do we give a f*ck?
It’s in our nature as humans to be constantly seeking the approval of others around us, and because we don’t walk around validating each other, we often get sucked into this habit of worrying too much about what others think about us.
We care what they think we’re wearing, what we’re doing, who we are, how our hair looks, how we look, how we talk, and so on.
Frankly, it’s a waste of energy and it’s inviting negative energy into our lives that we honestly have enough of as it is.
As yogis, we’re always trying to invite more positive energy into our lives.
From our practice to the “namaste” at the end and to the more conscious and ethical choices we make in our lifestyle as a result, we’re positive energy addicts. We want to spread that because we know what positive energy feels like, and how damn good it does feel. Why would we want others to not feel that too? We don’t, of course!
But when we invited this negative energy into our lives by caring what others think about us, we’re undoing the positive energy that we work so hard to create and to spread to others around us, and then the only thing we can spread is negative energy. Because you can’t fake positive energy. It just is, or it isn’t. There’s no forcing it. So, we have to break the habit.
How to Stop the Bad Habit of Giving a F*ck
There are a few steps that you have to take to truly relinquish the compulsive need of getting validation from others. Once you’re able to break yourself from those self-created chains, you’re going to feel a lot better, and a lot more free.
So, let’s go over the steps of how you can learn to stop giving a f*ck and just live your life.
1) Convince yourself that what they think doesn’t matter.
Think about it this way… when you go out and about, do you find yourself caring about what others are wearing and doing in their own life?
Probably not. We all are too worried about ourselves and the impression we’re giving off to think about other peoples’ current state and actions (unless those actions are harming others, obviously).
And if we do judge somebody, we probably forget about it within ten minutes anyway. So, if we’re not doing it, it’s likely that others aren’t doing it either.
And even if they are, it’s not a big deal to them and they’ll move on from it as soon as you’re out of sight anyway. So, why do we hinder on it so heavily? It doesn’t make sense.
2) Create a life that you love.
When you love what you do and who you are, it becomes a lot harder to think about what others might think of you because you’re so busy enjoying your life.
A big part of worrying about what others think about is just our own insecurity.
Take this as an example: when we know that it’s okay to not be great at a pose or when we feel that we’re doing great at a pose, we don’t find ourselves feeling like others will judge us for it.
It’s only when we feel self-conscious about ourselves that we worry that our mat neighbor is going to think we totally suck at yoga and that we should just quit now.
So, truly learning to love yourself and your life is a fast and easy way to stop even thinking or worrying about what others might think. There’s simply no room for it. ( and guess what? practising yoga definitely helps to love yourself more haha)
3) Don’t allow yourself to seek approval.
Another step in this is the true habit-breaking part of the recipe for not giving a f*ck. Learning that what others think doesn’t matter and learning to love yourself is just preparing you to break free from giving a f*ck.
But this step is about actually breaking those chains and not allowing yourself to continue on, which is why it comes after the first two.
You have to do the first two to be ready to conquer this one.
With that said, you have to see when it is that you start to give a f*ck about what others think, and you have to tell yourself “no!”
When you do this, you’re becoming conscious of it and not allowing yourself to take the reward or the burden of letting it continue. You’re taking candy from a baby, effectively.
So, how do you actually do this? Well, once you realize it’s happening, you have to face that. You have to accept that what you’re doing is seeking approval. Be honest with yourself. If you can’t be honest with yourself, you’ve already failed. Don’t deny it or make excuses.
Once you do that, you let yourself know that it’s okay if you don’t have their approval, because you don’t need it. If you do that and can truly believe it, only then can you let it go. Take a few breaths to reorient yourself and then exhale that bad energy.
Once you replace the old habit with this new one, you’ll be well on your way to not giving a f*ck.
4) Keeping it up.
The last and final step here is in regard to looking at your life now and identifying what parts of it are truly you and what parts of it are for others.
Sometimes we get caught up in what others think about us so much that we base many of our life choices on it. It’s natural, and it happens without us even realizing it. And that’s okay.
But now that you’re able to stop giving a f*ck in the moment, you have to make the final step of clearing your life of any f*cks and making room for things that truly matter to you.
So, examine your life and the big choices you’ve made in it. Why do you live where you do? Why do you do yoga? Why do you have the job that you do? Why do you enjoy the things you do? Why do dress the way you do? Why do you eat the way you do?
All of these questions are tough ones to answer, and don’t panic if one of them is answered with a “because I like the way it makes me look to others” or a similar answer. It’s okay.
Because now that you’ve identified that, you can truly figure out if that thing belongs in your life or not. That’s the only way you can make a big change to benefit you and make you happier overall. We have to live our lives for ourselves in order to be happy. We can’t live our lives for others.
Learning to not give a f*ck is not an easy process. It requires a lot of honesty, openness, examination of yourself, and examination of your life. Eventually, it’ll also likely require some big life changes.
But that’s okay. Don’t let this discourage you from going after the freedom that not giving a f*ck gives you.
There’s a saying that says, “nothing in life worth doing is easy.” And it’s true. It’s difficult because it’s incredibly worth doing. You’ll be a lot happier and more authentic for it, and you owe it to yourself to become those things!
Namaste.
The yoganum family
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